My New Profile On Orkut

 Dear friends pinta is back on Orkut. Follow the link and add me up in new orkut..


 http://www.orkut.co.in/Main#Profile?uid=3991246227843598355

My Profile:

ahu ahumm...
My Parents call me shakeeb.
And I am registered in my death certificate as..shakeeb aijaz ashai..lol

And I don’t know what people think of me..So what I can say is only “I DON’T CARE”, would you mind it? ..Again, I Don’t Care!

Alec Smart said: “shakeeb is a harmless Creature, until all his harmones work properly”. 

I take a few seconds to adjust with anybody..might be a drawback of me.
I don’t underestimate anyone.

I believe"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted"..."Meet people in such a way that if u live they crave for U n if u die they weep for U"
And I can forgive the person who kills me, but not the one who misused me.
Now I know, you are thinking, what the hell this person might be of use??
The answer is, I also don’t know...now leave it.

I love to live with my friends and for friendship I don’t consider their any previous achievements. I love all those who feel comfortable with me and who make me feel comfortable with them…

I believe in ALMIGHTY ALLAH..I am optimistic.I am not Moody at all.

I always think positive–> Which have never helped me to achieve anything, but still it has become a habit.
I forgive people soon, as I feel this life Is too short and have no time to keep on proving others as wrong and we the only perfect!

"I love innovative things.
I believe in Honesty."

And one thing I have observed about myself is,I don’t go behind people, as it would be an extra burden to them. **I don’t like to disturb anybody**
I enjoy the company of people who are FREE.I too love to live freely!

I believe that people wont understand the importance of the other person until that person is found dead.
And I am not an important person,

can you guess Y ?

buddu….

because……………I am still alive.

I respect each and every person on this earth.

I Love each and every person on this earth..and in very rare cases people get confused about the color of my love Love, Love, Love, Love,Love, Love…owfff I never knew that there are soo many colors to Love, as they say "Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear."What..what are you thinking?? — All these lines about Love is just a contribution or just a dedication from me to the LOVERS and nothing serious in my life.

For those who doesn’t like me, I don’t have any comments, because its their life and I am no one to poke my nose..
And for those who hate me….hope I am not soooo bad(Anyway, its left to you).
I never think bad for anyone….etc!

I guess, you are my friend..because you read until here, soooo long.Do you know….Friendship isn’t about…whom you have known the Longest….who came 1st or who Cares the Best…Its all about Who came and Never Left.

And I have crises of such friends….but still as I said earlier, I am very much optimistic, and I am still in a hope that I will also get friends who will stay till the end, even when there is no use from me...

Veran Bonei Hund Hearan Kav.... Shakeeb Ashai...

The Last Sermon of Prophet Muhammad

The Last Sermon of Prophet Muhammad
"Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and that He will indeed reckon your deeds."

This sermon was delivered on the Ninth Day of Dhul Hijjah 10 A.H. in the 'Uranah valley of Mount Arafat' (in Mecca). 

After praising, and thanking God he said:

"O People, lend me an attentive ear, for I know not whether after this year, I shall ever be amongst you again. Therefore listen to what I am saying to you very carefully and take these words to those who could not be present here today.

O People, just as you regard this month, this day, this city as Sacred, so regard the life and property of every Muslim as a sacred trust. Return the goods entrusted to you to their rightful owners. Hurt no one so that no one may hurt you. Remember that you will indeed meet your Lord, and that He will indeed reckon your deeds. God has forbidden you to take usury (interest), therefore all interest obligation shall henceforth be waived. Your capital, however, is yours to keep. You will neither inflict nor suffer any inequity. God has judged that there shall be no interest and that all the interest due to Abbas ibn 'Abd'al Muttalib (Prophet's uncle) shall henceforth be waived...

Beware of Satan, for the safety of your religion. He has lost all hope that he will ever be able to lead you astray in big things, so beware of following him in small things.

O People, it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women, but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under God's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with any one of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste.

O People, listen to me in earnest, worship God, say your five daily prayers (Salah), fast during the month of Ramadan, and give your wealth in Zakat. Perform Hajj if you can afford to.

All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over black nor a black has any superiority over white except by piety and good action. Learn that every Muslim is a brother to every Muslim and that the Muslims constitute one brotherhood. Nothing shall be legitimate to a Muslim which belongs to a fellow Muslim unless it was given freely and willingly. Do not, therefore, do injustice to yourselves.
Remember, one day you will appear before God and answer your deeds. So beware, do not stray from the path of righteousness after I am gone.

O People, no prophet or apostle will come after me and no new faith will be born.  Reason well, therefore, O People, and understand words which I convey to you. I leave behind me two things, the Quran and my example, the Sunnah and if you follow these you will never go astray.

All those who listen to me shall pass on my words to others and those to others again; and may the last ones understand my words better than those who listen to me directly. Be my witness, O God, that I have conveyed your message to your people".

A Lonely Desperate Man

Have you ever been desperate? If you are a lady, you probably DON’T know how it feels…but a man will understand. A man, who is not so handsome, dark and makes no sense to pretty girls will understand it better. Just in case you don’t know, I am that not so handsome man, dark and make no sense to girls…somebody like GB Shaw.

Some of you might argue that GB Shaw made no sense to the girls because he was intelligent. But that’s not the point I am debating here.

Anyway, I have been home alone for the last 25 days. My Parents has been away since October 20 and my girl friend (Laila) has been away on assignments ever since (how I hate working girlfriends!). Thanks to these thankless souls I have been having a lonely existence.

Today 1st November i realized the importance of someone who will look after me who will care for me who will love me in my life. without that person i will be a lonely desperate man.

Here is how a desperate, lonely man’s average day goes:

6.35 a.m.:
Get up and check the phone first. See if the girl friend called you while you were asleep. Why didn’t she call? Has she found a boyfriend? Check the missed calls. What if she called late in the night and you missed it? As a last resort, check if the wife has left any missed calls. Pointless, I know. Why would a wife leave a missed call late in the night? Wouldn’t she be snoring?

7.00 a.m.:
Check mobile again. What if the girl friend called when you were in the loo reading the newspaper.

7.20 a.m.:
Debate if one has to make tea. For it means, three utensils will get soiled and will have to be washed – the pan, the sieve and the ceramic cup. Eventually one makes tea and looks at the mobile again – this time for missed calls.

8.00 a.m.:
Sit in front of the desktop and see if there are any new mails. After the gmail account, try the hotmail account and then the Yahoo account. The last mail in Yahoo account is at 12.30 a.m., which you have already seen. It is the one about ‘how to give complete pleasure to the woman in your life,’ and you had already responded saying there were none to be seen around.

8.15 a.m.:
Wonder if you really have to take bath because no one will know if you didn’t. Decide to just brush your teeth – and that too because Pepsodent Mint was bought yesterday and you are keen to know how it tastes. Try eating a squeeze of Pepsodent Mint tooth paste and find out that the froth (or is it foam?) is more than that in a Close Up paste.

8.25 a.m.:
Come out of the washroom feeling happy that you didn’t have to take bath. Dry the towel outside anyway because you don’t want the neighbors to suspect that you didn’t take bath.

8.45 a.m.:
Lock the door hoping to bring along a girl (or a boy) in the evening for some company. Before you lock and turn your brain lets you know that it is not going to happen. So feel sad and depressed.

8.50 a.m.:
Sit in the car and wonder who to call during the 30 minute drive to the University. Think of girls in the department. Wonder if the girl in the department would be engaged or not. Wonder if her Brother would end up pick up the call? Anyway, try her number and find out that she is already talking to somebody – her boyfriend perhaps.

9.05 a.m.:
Reach the university car park. Try hard. Anybody who can be called? Decide that even a boy is fine as long as he picks up the phone. He doesn’t pick up the phone. Console self that he must be driving.

9.15 a.m. to 7.30 p.m.:
Spend the whole day thinking if you will get somebody to spend the evening with. After 5.30 p.m. decide that even a man will do. After 7.00 p.m. decide that even somebody about 45 years of age will do. At 7.30 p.m. – when you reach home – realize that even a plastic doll will do.(just for the sake of company)


8.00 p.m.:
While opening the door, wonder if it would have been better if you were a girl. It would have been child’s play to get a boy home. A nudge here, a wink there….that is all one would have required.

8.30 p.m.:
Wonder if you can call that girl who once said she liked your funny articles on koshurpinta.com. Was she engaged? Did she sound as if she was interested in you? No idea. Plan dropped because didn’t want to be confronted by an upset boyfriend.

9.00 p.m.:
Nothing like a fried chicken to give you company.

10.00 p.m.:
See if the romantic novels collection you have been building over the years still looks exciting. Find out that you have outgrown your collection and need something more contemporary. Try reading a paragraph or two...

10.15 p.m.:
Turn on the PC.Find out a site called http://www.facebook.com , then switch over to orkut , then twitter, then so on...

11:00 p.m:
Pray to Almighty that my parents would find a perfect match (Laila) for me and i will soon get married so that i cnt be as much lonely and desperate as i was 2day.

12 midnight:
Hit the bed - a lonely, desperate man.

Things to do this Ramadhan...

Eat, drink and be moderate.
Almost all of us do it - once Iftar time hits, we just keep plowing food and drink into our mouths till it's hard to move afterwards. And those of us who do it know this is totally contrary to the spirit of Ramadan, through which we're supposed to learn self-control not self-indulgence. Let's try to stick to the Prophetic rule on eating: fill our stomachs with one-third food, one-third water and one-third breathing space, even in Ramadan.

Spend in charity.
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, was always generous but even more so in Ramadan. Let's open our hearts and dig a little deeper in our wallets this year. Even less than a dollar a day adds up. Whatever you can give, it's the intention that counts.

Memorize 4 new Surahs.
Memorizing the Quran often seems like a daunting task. But the key is doing it in small bites. Since there are four weeks in Ramadan, try to memorize one new Surah a week. Start off with a short, easy one. Once you've started, you'll build momentum and may even want to memorize a longer one the following week.

Go to Tarawih prayers.
Post-Iftar, the first urge is to sleep after an exhausting day. But try your best to head out to the masjid for Tarawih prayers. Praying alone is wonderful, but doing it in congregation is fantastic. The community spirit is part of Ramadan's blessings. Don't miss it this year. If going every day is not possible, try going at least once week.
Full recitation of Quran.
Call the local masjid and find out which day the Imam will be finishing the recitation of the Quran in prayer. Attend to not only hear part of the Quran's recitation in prayer, but also participate in the heart-rending Duas that follow it.

Stop swearing and backbiting.
It's hard not to shoot our mouths off when someone's upset us. Whether we utter those four-letter words or backbite about someone to our family and friends, we know this isn't the God-approved way of letting off steam. In Ramadan, when we want to build our spirituality, we've got to wage Jihad (strive) against our bad habits.

Try this:
get a box and every time you catch yourself swearing or backbiting put some money in it. It could be a buck or less. The point is to choose an amount that makes it feel like punishment. At the end of the month send the money to a charity or buy a gift for the person whom you've backbitten the most against.

Call your relatives.
You'd think that given the easy access to email, competitive long-distance calling rates, phone cards, etc. these days, we'd keep in touch with family and friends more often. But the opposite seems to be the case, as we get caught up in life's busyness.
Strengthening ties with family members and keeping in touch with friends is part of our way of life and an act Allah is very pleased with. This Ramadan, call family and friends or at least email them a Ramadan card and ask them how their fasting is going.


Read Quran at least 5 minutes a day.
Even if you feel you've got absolutely no time, set a timer or the alarm on your cell phone and find a relatively quiet place. You can read the first page of the Quran you open or follow a sequence. The choice is yours. The point is simply to connect with God through His revelation in the month of the Quran. Read Quran with proper tajweed and then try to ponder on its meaning.

Forgive everyone who has hurt you.
Still got a festering wound from the fight with your friend last year? Still upset about something your spouse said during a heated argument? Or are you still bitter about the way your parents sometimes treated you as a kid? Let go of the anger and pain this Ramadan and forgive those who have hurt you. Forgiving someone is not only good for the body, but it's also great for the soul. And in Ramadan, ten days of which are devoted to Allah's forgiveness, shouldn't we lesser beings forgive too? If you find it very difficult to forgive everyone, forgive at least three people.

Please forgive me too this Ramadhan if i have ever hurted anybody or anyone's sentiments please please please forgive me too.. (shakeeb)

~with good intentions
written by: Shakeeb Ashai.

MBA Fever and Me

Since i am going to join MBA classes soon, i decided why not start giving some management classes on my blog too. Although i haven't learn anything about management so far but lets examine and analyze what our beloved "PINTA" knows about management in Koshurpinta Style.

Corporate Governance

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him: "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Q: What can we learn from this?

A: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

Ambition

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy. "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Q: What can we learn from this?

A: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Business Ethics

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said: "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions." The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go." The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money." And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Q: What can we learn from this?

A: You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.

Corporate Communication

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Q: What can we learn from this?

A1: Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
A2: Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
A3: Most importantly: when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

The 3 biggest

Corporate Lies:

1. We have an entrepreneurial spirit here.

2. People are our greatest resource.

3. We say 'let the marketplace decide.

Alec Smart said: " The Bad News is: In a recent Acquisition Frenzy, I purchased one of my own companies.The Good News is: The stock went up! "
Shakeeb added: " The Market has no Morality "

ADDICTED TO PAIN ...

“we are all addicted to something that takes away the pain.”

Pain. It comes and it goes. Life is messy. We get hurt.

The problem is how we deal with our pain. Some people drink, some people smoke, some people are ******************, some people hurt themselves or others, I bet there is a million ways that people try to cope.

I don’t think it matters where the pain comes from or how long ago it started to hurt, we all still feel this need inside to get rid of it. This is a good thing though because if we never attempted to deal with it, we would all go bonkers and end up killing people left and right.

We just need to realize that sometimes the way we deal with things can hurt us more. Of course we need things to help us deal with our crap but when the help becomes a problem too… that’s when we need to step back and look at the big picture.

There will always be pain but when we get into those painful situations, we need to remember that there will be good times too. Good and bad always balance out. We need to stay strong. I think our best way to deal with pain is ourselves. We all have the power to muster up the strength to say, “I will make it through this”.

You Know You Are a Kashmiri When...

You know your Kashmiri when...
Chai must be had at least 4 times a day, in the morning, for lunch, at 4, and when you come back from work.
Weddings last for at least a fortnight !
All the women at your parties try to see who can talk the loudest.
You can hear their laughter and even the voh-vohs from the basement.
You meet a whole new line of families at Kashmiri gatherings.
You are going to be a daakhtar [doctor].
You drink nun-chai and eat kulchas.
You can pronounce tchzamun/ tchzarvan
Big noses/ Hooked noses run in your DNA, and if somehow you end up with a different one- people refuse to acknowledge you as a Kashmiri.

You know the correct pronunciations to the song, Rind Posh Maal...
You know many kashmiri phrases such as
- KholAKhar
- Trath Payin
- Kya Gowm
- Balai Lagey
- Shikas Lad

"You know many kashmiri phrases such as
KholAKhar
Trath Payin
Kya Gowm
Balai Lagey
Shikas Lad "You are the most politically aware kid in your school.
Your brother owns some kind of expensive video game player.
You think you can sing, but you really cant.
When any food you eat is subjected to the wazwaan test, which it inevitably fails. :)
When the first thing you wait for in the morning is to get the tchzot, bakerkhaani, kulcha etc. from the kaandhur's shop.
When double-tchzot is given to the spoilt brats, cuz they wont eat the traditional breads.

If you happen to pass all the uncles, you always hear them debating about Kashmiri politics.
Your knees have ached after hours of sitting around a thasanaari eating food.
You've spied on the wazaa's at your wedding before.
Everyone is your aunty and everyone is you uncle.

You have atleast once rode a crazy horse in Pahelgam or Gulmarg or have heard someone's tales about it.
You have been to Oberoi Palace for dinner.
You have been to Broadway for lunch.
Your cousin is getting married this summer, so you have to spend all year planning your outfit.

Wanna be Kashmiri's are not cool.
You hear bomb blasts outside, and you panic. Your aunty reassures that they wont blast here and goes along with her daily chores. For some reason now, you are more scared.
You are always in search of the "vyaes"- the bone marrow :P
No meal is a meal without rice.
No meal is a meal without meat.
You never felt the need for having deserts after an enormous wazwaan.
You think you are the only person competent enough to call yourself an Aryan.

Kashmiri is the perfect code language in public places becuase NOBODY knows it.
You've grown up being extremely proud of you culture.
You are stylish.
When you are somehow related to that other Kashmiri.
You wear a sweater over your salwaar kameez.
When kashmir fights consist of going "ey ey ey"
Any news piece on Kashmir catches your eyes within 5 miliseconds of your flipping through the newspaper.

You dont know / cant find the Hindi/ English word for Monj-Haakh.
When your house is filled with Samovars.
You wonder what a samovar is doing at your Iranian/Russian friends house.
People are puzzled when you speak kashmiri.
You wonder why.

You prefer Shah Rukh Khan to Amitab Bachan because he looks- oh so kashmiri Plus he is so called muslim!!! similarly you support Pakistan in cricket because they are a muslim nation no matter how bad they play!

When all the Kashmiri woman talk, no one can hear what anyone else is saying.
Your mom walked to Presentation Convent together with [insert friends name here]'s mom when they were kids.
You find it hilarious when your watch Kashmiri soap operas and they are trying to act romantic.

"Sweety sweety drai duty is your favorite theme song."

"Sweety sweety drai duty is your favorite theme song."
Punctuality is for Caucasians
Your dad told you that you were the prince/princess of Kashmir when you were a kid.
You grew up believing him.
You know all about the India-Pakistan separation.
You are close friends with Kashmiri Political Figures.
Your mom doesn't let your dad go into politics.
People respond with "where's that?" when you tell them where your from.

You made a Kashmir stall at your school's cultural fests.
Your house is filled with Kashmiri rugs and furniture.
You are sure to bring in the kashmiri connection to anything and everything.
You are irritated when your french manicure is stained yellow from the wazwaan food.
When you don't own any naked baby photos, but have many photos of you in a traditional kashmiri dress taken in Nishat Bagh.

You eat softies at Zero Bridge.
Your dad ate softies at Zero Bridge in college.
Your whole family knows the guy who owns the Softy shop at zero bridge.
When you have rode a shikara on dal lake, and then your driver got into a fight with the guys cuz he was asking for 5 more rupees.

When you wake up on saturday mornings because your mom is calling kashmir and even the neighbors can hear what she's talking about.
You go to sleep while the dogs howl to the moon.

You are always glued to the TV for every single cricket match and then complain that the captain did no good job.

You click 'add to dictionary' when spell check cant recognize your name.
You do this to every computer you lay your hands on.

Inputs : Shakeeb Ashai ,

Further Additions: courtesy Aditya dhar (Facebook)

- You know u r a kashmiri when u enter ur house and ur Mom says- Aakha Tchu.
- You go to a Khandar and some strange old lady with a bushy hairy mole (just below her nose) will Kiss you right left and center and say- Mai ma zaanakh, bu che chain maas.
- In those same Khandar's U will see Kumbh Ka Mela next to Roghan Josh and Kaliya stalls. Then everyone will make a heap of it on their plates as well as in Dust-Bins.(As an experiment we should invite Menka Gandhi to a kashmiri wedding- Apne Hathyaar chod Bhaag khadi hogi)
- This is the way Our Uncles will always pronounce the following words
Six- SIKIS
Construction- Canastruction.
Help- Helap
- Our relatives Love using Kashmiri words while talking to someone non kashmiri - Raste mai mera toh myada he kharaab ho gaya, Taichi taichi lag gai.
- Literal Translation of Kashmiri Abuse:-
Che pai Ghuss Trath- May a Bolt of Crap fall on U.(Pure Genius)

Forgive me if you cant understand some kashmiri words .

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

Alec Smart has asked a Question.

What about that girl who played a slut in Asrar mushtaq's murder episode? What should be done against her?
Police have solved the sensational murder of 20-year old youth, Asrar Mushtaq, of Maisuma, and arrested two of his friends.
JK police on Tuesday said that Imran of Ilahi Bagh and Asim of Soura had confessed their crime. Asrar’s bike and his blood stained clothes have been recovered.
Giving details of the case, a highly placed police official said, “The accused Imran had developed intimate relations with a girl for more than a year and, of late, Asrar had developed close relations with the same girl whom Imran was dating. After Asrar started dating the girl, Imran felt jealous and decided to teach him a lesson,” he said.
“The accused Imran had developed intimate relations with a girl for more than a year and, of late, Asrar had also developed close relations with the same girl whom Imran was dating...“He hatched a conspiracy along with his accomplice, Asim, to eliminate him. On that fateful day Imran invited Asrar to his house at Ilahi Bagh. He hit Asrar with an iron rod killing him on the spot. After realizing that he is dead, he locked Asrar’s body in his house and left for his maternal uncle’s house in Karan Nagar,” the official said.
He said that on July 7 Imran took Asrar’s body in his maternal uncle’s car and dumped it at Malkhah in old city. “Imran dumped Asrar’s motorcycle at Asim’s, house in Soura,” he said.
After sustained interrogation, the official said, Imran confessed that he along with his accomplice, Asim, had murdered, Asrar in cold blood and tried to destroy the evidence. “Police have cracked the case and got scientific evidence to nail the murderers,” the official said, adding, “On the basis of the investigations, we will be able to get exemplary punishment for the killers.”

"Now The question which Alec Smart Is asking... What about that girl who played a slut in this whole episode? What should be done against her? Probably she will be saved and no charge will be raised against her.But if we will analyze things what lead this whole incident took place? A Filthy girl...a character less girl who had intimate relations with both the boys.what should we call that girl in our civilized society these type of girls are given some special names that i don't want to mention here in my blog.
Alec Smart only wants to appeal to the law making agencies to book that girl also under law, only then this case would be justified."

Alec Smart said: Why do these girls become #$@^**#% ?
shakeeb Replied : Perhaps these are the most misunderstood creatures.

with good intentions ~ Shakeeb Ashai

I am Nobody's Rakhi Brother...

It happened to me once and I have decided not to let it happen again. Not after the agony I endured for a mistake as small as the one I committed that day.
It was a normal day. As usual, some seven years back to be precise.when i was in 10th standard of New Era Public School.I had my breakfast, taken a shower, and lugging my school bag, was off to school. Not that I loved it, but the fact that after almost a night i was going to meet my friends again oh! those were the best days of my life still miss them a lot! anyways, back to the story now...

I had been asked to come early by a one of my batch mates - a girl at that - and I was in no mood to disappoint her.

I walked on. I knew I was smiling. After all, not everyday did a girl come to me and say: “shakeeb, why don’t you come early tomorrow morning.”

Did she want to propose? Did she like me? Though I would have preferred somebody better, she was kinda on the okay side. Actually, I knew beauty is but skin deep. So I decided that I would accept it as soon as she proposed.

I was 14 or 15 at that time and big enough. I qualified as a teenager and I guess it was time I had a girl to call mine. And she was smart … and beautiful.

We in New Era had separate wings one for boys and the other for girls. To reach her classroom, I had to cross the Principal’s office. It was wide open. And I could see him prancing about his room like a curious thanedaar waiting for a thief to take it for an interrogation. I wanted to avoid a lecture from him.

Being a latecomer, I had every chance of getting a lecture from the old man. Somehow, I escaped his early morning warm-up. At that time I had thought lady luck was on my side. Little did I realize that lady luck was like the Red Indians, who believed that only unhurt men qualified for human sacrifices.

Anyways, I moved on and as I entered her classroom, I could see that she was waiting for me. She was alone and if I am not wrong I noticed a glow around her face. Something, that had missed my attention all these days. I knew she wanted to say something important but was just a wee bit hesitant.

Damn i don't know how to start a conversation with a pretty girl... was i nervous who me? na! shakeeb and nervous that was far cry! but what was happening to me that day i was shivering in front of her. There were some stupid things going on in my mind, am i looking cool, am i handsome enough, is my hair well set? though i had put some brylcream on my hair that day and shaved my soft face for the occasion.

I walked towards her. She stood still. She was radiating energy and I could tell that she was working wonders on me. I moved closer. Her innocence showed. Through the corner of my eyes I saw that her bag was open and a greeting card was neatly placed next to it. My heart started pounding. Was it a heart shaped card? oh my God i am going to receive my first proposal of life... Is she going to give it to me?

She smiled. Something was amiss. And then she asked, “shakeeb, will you be my brother.” Brother!!! i was dumb silent after a long pause of about a minute or so i gulped my whole saliva which was swimming in my mouth due to the excitement, Brother!!! ah aa! ahumm ahum ahum... why not sure!anything for you si.. sis... sister. "oh thanks a lot shakeeb you know you are the sweetest person i have ever met, you are so well behaved and you never misbehave with anyone in the bus. i Knew you are a perfect gentlemen." Thanks a lot si..sister."will you please do me a favor". ya sure why not sister anything for you."could you please pass this greeting card to your friend Faheem please, i guess he is your best friend na".(me with my whole jaw wide open!) ya he is my best pal, sure i will pass it to him. She no longer seemed innocent!.......

Alec Smart said : believe in everything , Trust Nothing.
Shakeeb replied: Trust everybody but Girls! excuse me!.

written by : Shakeeb Ashai

When i got Kidnapped...

This was the last thing I expected. I can understand when a pretty girl gets kidnapped by a rowdy for sex (read Sita getting kidnapped by Ravana) or when a rich kid gets kidnapped for money….but me? This was the heights.

It all started with an irresponsible statement by Owais (if you want to send him hate messages, click here for Owais'sFacebook profile).

Last Wednesday I went to his desk in Kashmir University for a very innocent, “Good morning!”

He responded: “Good morning, rich guy!”

At this, one of his class friend – a young, aspiring kid who has just finished his graduation and joined Kashmir University looked up and asked: “Rich guy?” Why?

That’s when Owais let out the irresponsible statement. He said: “Did you know…behind his funny blog he has other blogs on Autos, Cricket, Mobile Reviews etc…which help him earn 100 thousands every month?”

A man (and woman) is always left wondering under such circumstances. I wondered if I should let the ignorance pass by or tell them the truth that it was not like that. Ignorance is bliss, elders have said…so I didn’t open my mouth. Besides, it felt good to be held in awe.

But the problem with an appreciative statement is that everybody holds up their ear to hear your response to the appreciation – which puts you under tremendous amounts of pressure. Should you act humble and downplay it by saying something like “yeah right owais! Next you will say that my fingers are insured for Rs 5 crores!” Something like “Ohhh…this is nothing owais. I used to earn 1000 thousands every month before the recession kicked in.”

Anyway, I didn’t say anything and walked away with a grin.

While walking away, I did notice a glint in the eyes of Ibrahim wani & Jaswinder singh, the two young graduates who study with owais in Kashmir University. Back then I didn’t realize that these kids could kidnap me and demand a ransom from my girl friend laila.(name changed)

I wouldn’t tell you how these two kids kidnapped me. But I can assure you that I didn’t walk into the trap wanting an ‘ice cream.’ The gratification they offered was much bigger - a three hour meeting with Priyanka Chopra, all alone.

Once in a stinking lodge, I started to cry. They did try to console me with ice creams and pop corn but their choice of snacks showed their lack of experience in kidnapping adult clients. My Favorite butter chicken would have made some sense.

They then called up laila and made her hear my cries. I was so glad laila didn’t ask for some proof of the kidnapping for they would have cut my ear and sent it across to her. I don’t mind losing my ear but the problem was…laila wouldn’t have been able to recognize my ear – she last saw it from close quarters during our date in some part of octomber2008.

Here is how the conversation between laila and my kidnappers go:

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “We have Shakeeb…you are at our mercy now.”

laila: “Hmm…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: Do you have a piece of paper & a pen?

laila: “Hmm…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: Note down our demands…and don’t try to be smart and go to the police.

laila: “Hmm…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “We need twelve lakhs and five hundred and fifty rupees to release shakeeb.”

laila: “And…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: And a get away vehicle – a Maruti car to be sent to the lodge where we are staying.

laila: “Is this your first kidnapping?”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: There are two firsts in this kidnapping - first time we are kidnapping an adult. And also, this is our first kidnapping after our graduation.”

laila: “Not bad.”

Why isn’t laila panicking? Does she think that I am staging this because even after eight years of relationship she doesn’t allow me to own a credit card? Does she think I am staging this just to get her needed attention???

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “You have 24 hours to give us twelve lakhs and five hundred and fifty rupees.”

laila: “Hmmm…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “You will have to create a profile on Facebook.com, the social networking site and send a friendship request to the ID called ‘Kidnapper007’.”

laila: “Hmmm…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Once you do that…we will send you directions to the place where you have to drop the money bag.”

laila: “Hmmm…”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “We will call again.”

After the call, Ibrahim and Jaswinder bought me masala chola for the night. And to make up for the promise that I will get to spend time with Priyanka Chopra alone…they bought the movie ‘Dostana’…and left me alone in the room to watch. If only they had untied my hands, I could have switched on the DVD player.

Exactly 24 hours later, they called laila again.

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “We guess the money is ready.”

laila: “Aren’t you assuming things?”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Don’t get too smart…we can be nasty with your boyfriend shakeeb.”

laila: “We don’t have that much money. In fact, I have been asking him to buy a vacuum cleaner for the last four months and he hasn’t been able to buy it for even my sake, you know his room stinks every time i visit his place.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “We don’t want to get into your domestic issues. Can you pay that money or not?”

laila: “No I can’t. He hasn’t even bought a single gold ornament for me ever since we have been together.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Come on girl…be strong. Pay us just 10 lakhs and get your boyfriend back.”

laila: “I can’t do that. He gives away all his money to his mother.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: laila, we have put in a lot of effort and taken a lot of risk and you need to understand that. You need to pay us at least four lakhs and get your boyfriend released.

laila: “No way. Where will I go for the money…despite me advising him against it, he spent all savings in doing party every night at boulevard and khayam eating tuji.we have got no money in hand.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “How about 2 lakhs?”

laila: 2 lakhs? If I had two lakhs…wouldn’t I get my boyfriend shakeeb a new nano car,who drives maruti suzuki 800 of his father and that too year 2002 made, after all it is a matter of Pride in my friend circle?”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Considering your financial problems, our Executive Board would like to convene and discuss the issue over. We will give you a call in another ten minutes.

laila: Just make it quick. The Sa re ga ma pa little champs Singer contest begins on ZeeTv in another 20 minutes…would be nice if we can finish this discussion before that.

After keeping the phone down, both Ibrahim and Jaswinder gave me a look I can’t forget. They then went outside to discuss things over. After 10 minutes of discussion, they called laila again.

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: We understand your financial troubles and have decided to give you a ninety percent discount and now you only have to give fifty thousand and fifty five rupees only.

laila: “Trust me, I won’t be able to afford even that. I have a back up in place – I have got my boyfriend to get a good insurance in his name.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: How is this insurance going to help you in this negotiation? You have no choice but to pay us.

laila: “You can’t arm twist me. You can do whatever you want with my boyfriend.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Hmm…”

I didn’t know my girl friend was Kevin Spacey and Samuel L Jackson rolled into one (have you seen Hollywood movie The Negotiator?) Whatever her intent, she definitely was succeeding. But the million dollar question remained which of the two M's did my girl friend prefer – Money or Me?

laila: Just out of curiosity…why was your first quote twelve lakhs and five hundred and fifty rupees? Why not just twelve lakhs?

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Hmm…we spent Rs five hundred on an AC cab to transfer your boyfriend to the lodge. And Rs 50 on renting a ‘Dostana’ DVD.

laila: “Ohhh…ok. Why talk of what I can’t give…lets talk positive…lets talk of what I can give.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Hmm…that would be nice.”

laila: “I can give you five hundred and fifty rupees. What do you say?”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Hmm…we will have to call you back. Is that fine?”

After keeping the phone down, both Ibrahim and Jaswinder gave me another look. Did the negotiations break down? Will I be killed? Before I could ask them…the kidnappers left the room for discussions. Again, they came back and called up laila.

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “How would you want to give us the five hundred and fifty rupees? We are fine with it.”

laila: “You will have to bring my boyfriend shakeeb home, and the moment you hand him over…I will give you a check for the said amount.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “What is the assurance that the police wouldn’t be waiting for us in your house?”

laila: “Up to you…either you take the five hundred and fifty or you keep my boyfriend.”

Ibrahim & Jaswinder: “Ok…Ok…don’t get angry. We will be there in an hours time.”

It was Sunday.They went to laila's home, and exchanged me with laila for a check of rupees five hundred and fifty. Thankfully, there were no policemen inside the house…for there could have been exchange of fire…and my girl friend’s wall decorations would have been affected.

I couldn’t face laila the whole day. On Monday The next day while leaving for Kashmir university, she asked: “Do you know the J&k Bank customer care number? I want to put a stop payment on a cheque.”

I gave her the number…but didn’t ask which cheque this was.

Alec Smart said: certainly Your girl friend Laila prefers the bigger M..."Money"
Shakeeb replied: Thank God she is only my girl friend and not my wife :)

written by : Shakeeb Ashai

Comment on this...

Do i need to write any caption for this image? This picture itself depicts the mental trauma and humiliation faced by our kashmiri sisters and mothers each and everyday because of the Indian forces and recent shopian rape and murder case of Asiya (17) and Neelofar (22) justifies it all. “The ill-fated duo were raped even after their death,” .I am letting on you people to decide what should be the caption of this image.Perhaps i got this image from my very innocent and sweet friend and brother Qazi mamoon's Album " Kashur Pinta Style " On FACEBOOK. He had captioned this image as "Photwu laal kaale waatluw.. kolal legwe saani balai.. phatve gardan" perhaps it sounds a bit humerus to ears but it is thing of concern. In place of this young girl walking at ameera kadal just consider your own sister,daughter or mother being stared at ...what will you do ??? will you make a caption just to impress someone or create a fun out that situation? Or you will kill that bastard? By calling a strike/hartal or performing ragda ragda wont do anything literally One needs to act now if not now than never...
Now its your turn comment on this photograph who will take the responsibility to comment on this one? Mr.Omar Abdulla ? well he said every kashmiri girl is my sister they are my daughters and sisters, i can understand the sufferings of the shopian victims as i have 3 sisters myself. Now you decide...

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

The Mess online Chat is...

I was introduced to the internet some nine years back. I started out with e-mails and slowly graduated to yahoo chat, then online social networking sites, then on phone twitter, mig, fring etc etc. The net was just right for me. I could spend my enough time on it of course not always work but a bit fun too. All of you i presume are familiar with the on going ragda ragda , hartals in Kashmir these days. As there is not much work to do so internet these days is a perfect place for me. i will narrate a small yet funny story which happened past week with me on mig. Hope you will enjoy it too as much as i did in being a part of the story itself.

Vital Info: My mig id is shakeeb13

6.30 p.m.
shakeeb13: Hi
nirvana_2009: ASL pls
shakeeb13: What…?
nirvana_2009: Are you a guy or a girl?
shakeeb13: Guy. Why?
nirvana_2009: F*&^ off you punk.

Later I would come to know that nirvana_2009 was a guy looking for a girl.

6.45 p.m.

shakeeb13: Hi
meetmeinheaven: asl?
shakeeb13: You mean age, sex?
meetmeinheaven: Yes. How did you know what I was thinking?
shakeeb13: Just like that. I am a guy.
meetmeinheaven: Then why do you want to have sex with me?
shakeeb13: When did I say that?
meetmeinheaven: Buzz off you fruit cake (in case you did not know, it means a homo)

This guy was desperate.

Myself with a fake id

7.00 p.m.

meetmeinheaven: asl?
saimadgreat: 20/F/sxr
meetmeinheaven: whats that?
saimadgreat: My asl dumbo.
meetmeinheaven: Does asl mean age, sex and location?
saimadgreat: Yes. Guess you are too dumb. Bye.
meetmeinheaven: No…no.. I am new to chat.
saimadgreat: That’s fine. Bye.


7.15 p.m

saimadgreat (BTW, this is me): Hi
andleeb: Hi
saimadgreat: asl
andleeb: 22/F/sxr
saimadgreat: Cool.
andleeb: Your asl?
saimadgreat: 23/F/sxr
andleeb: Thats neat.
saimadgreat: So what do you do?
andleeb: I am a web-designer.
saimadgreat: I cannot believe my luck. My friend is a programmer and he wants to shift to web-designing. He had some doubts.
andleeb: What kind?
saimadgreat: If it is worth the shift, salary expected …you know that kind. If it is ok with you, shall I give him your id?
andleeb: Hm….fine. Should not be a problem. Is he online?
saimadgreat: No he is not online now. I just called him up and gave him your id. BTW, his mig id is shakeeb13.
andleeb: No hassles.
saimadgreat: That is really nice of you. He will get in touch with you shortly. I will log off now…

Fifteen minutes after I logged off, I logged in again, this time as shakeeb13. We struck the right chord. She is still my chat friend and keeps inquiring about my friend saimadgreat.

By now, I had smartened up and realized that on the net the guys are looking for girls. And girls too are looking for girls. lol

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

What if there were no women in the World

Here is the truth: God made man and finding himself in good form…came up with a better creation – the woman. (Did I just hear the ladies clap?)

Anyways….I was wondering what would have happened if God didn’t make woman for man. Thus, all men were left to fend for themselves. Scary shit. Think about it….

How will we become fathers? Who will tell us the good news that we are about to become fathers? For whom will we sit outside a gynecologist’s and imagine a conspiracy theory being hatched against us? With whom will we walk in the evenings? Whenever we pass by a bakery, whom will we stop for? For whom will we shop? And the questions go on.

Now for the real Male Chauvinistic part. Who will make tea in the morning and wake us up with a sweet smile? Who will scold us for taking the newspaper inside the washroom? Who will nag us to take bath early? Who will call up the office when we are down with fever? Who will iron our clothes when we are in a hurry? Who will wave at us when we race our bike/car towards the office? Who will be ready with piping hot coffee when we go back home? Who will help us with the washing machine?

Needless to say, with no woman in this World, life wouldn’t be the same. Imagine living with another man in your house. Scary! We all would be gays…and wonder how the human race will propagate. Perhaps…we would have found out a way to make test tube babies…but even then where would be egg come from? Gorillas? Wouldn’t that make the Human race huge and hairy?

On Saturday nights…the pubs and clubs would be full of men trying to woo each other. The only advantage as I see would be…we wouldn’t have to buy mock-tails, ice-cream and pop-corn to impress!

“what if all men in the World were gay and all women in the world were lesbians”. lol

Hope you guys and girls out there know any solution besides women ...

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

The Worst City names in the World

*These are the Real City names*
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1) Taumatawhakatangihan gakoauauotamateapoka iwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand.
Locals call this hill in Hawke's Bay "Taumata" because... Well. Just because.
2) Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland.
The Shetland Islands, pronounced "~love~ Islands" by the locals. Oh the pride...
3) Cockburn, Western Australia.
Although this name is often pronounced "Coburn" by those who stand to lose from its awfulness, who actually reads that when they see this word? Oh, how it burns.
4) Muff, Ireland.
They have a town called Muff. Har har har.
5) Looneyville, Texas, United States.
Little Looneyville was named for storekeeper John Looney in the early 1870s. But who gives a ~love~. This is a hilarious name for a town in the state that brought us Dallas, the Bush Twins and Waco. How awkward must that be when you go to college? "Hey guys, my name's Johnny and I'm from Looneyville!"
6) Titty Hill, Sussex, England.
Falling squarely into the extensive Stupid Place Names From England category, Titty Hill is probably located just north of...
7) Thong, Kent, England.
Which actually is south-east of...
8) Gravesend, Kent, England
Oh, come on, England. Graves End? What a nasty, depressing little name. You could have at least gone all the way with this one and called it Corpse Feet.
9) Wetwang, Yorkshire... yep! England again!
Okay, so I'll cut England some slack. It's an old country. You know, if the United States is Google, then England is IBM. Their country is older than freakin dirt. They can't be blamed for having names that sound funny in 2007. But this is kind of ridiculous.
10) Spread Eagle, Wisconsin.
If I were mayor of Spread Eagle, I'd be making diplomatic advances towards the city leaders over in Wetwang to form a Sister-City relationship. Or maybe more of a Platonic-Friends-City relationship. After that, we'd just take thing slow and see what happened.
11) Bald Knob, Arkansas, United States.
Well, I guess it's better than Hairy Knob. I assume England already has that one covered.
12) Cockup, Cumbria, England.
Cumbriais, a county in the very north-west of England. What the backwoods of Alabama are to America is what Cumbria is to Britain. They talk funny up there. Thus, it isn't thoroughly surprising that they have a town called Cockup. What do you call someone from this place? A Cockupper? Cockupeleite? Cockuppian? Cockupican? I suppose it's mildly better than Wetwangger.
13) Whiskey Dick Mountain, Washington State, United States.
As hard as America tries, it can't compete with Britain's high standards. This was a good effort, though. Well done, Washington.
14) Hookersville, West Virginia.
Undoubtedly named before "hooker" meant "prostitute who picks men up on street corners,"Hookersville combines two crimes of place-naming. One, a dirty sounding adjective (they couldn't have chosen "Pleasant"? "Sunny"? "Happy"?) And two, they added "ville" to the end of the town's name. Affixing "ville" to the end of a town's name is like dressing your silly little dog in a cardigan and letting him carry his leash around in his mouth. It just makes the poor animal look stupid.
15) Hell, Michigan, United States.
The people in this town at least seem to have a good sense of humor about their home's unfortunate name. Although, I'm sure there's some midwestern idiots in Hell who get all offended and defensive when the town shows up on lists like this. I'm looking forward to reading their insightful emails and comments.
16) Toad Suck, Arkansas, United States.
So that's what they do down in the big AR.
17) Middelfart, Denmark.
I guess it's not so funny to them, but how do we know that "Seattle" doesn't mean "Big Fat Stinking Turd" in Danish? That's right, we don't. And it probably does.
18) Horneytown, North Carolina, United States.
Its proximity to Hookersville, West Virginia is no coincidence. I also assume that, like Hookersville, the naming of Horneytown took place before "horny" with an extra "e". But I'm starting to wonder why, pride and tradition aside, the townspeople in these little places never saw it fit to change their homes' names? Do they enjoy being ridiculed by the entire English-speaking world?
19) ~love~, Dorset, England.
I wonder if they bleep out the first part of ~love~'s name if it's mentioned on the Disney Channel?
20) Disappointment, Kentucky, United States.
Le sigh. Never mind. You live in a small town in Kentucky. At least it was appropriately named.
21) ~censored~, Austria.
The idiots who live in ~censored~, Austria had a vote in 2004 to determine whether or not they should change the town's name, and you know what they did? They voted against it, preferring instead to put up with international ridicule, numerous stolen road-signs and horrific Google results.
22) Last but not least: Whakapapa
Why is this the worst place name in the world? In Maori, the native language of New Zealand, the "wh" sound is pronounced as " f ". Say it aloud in your office or home and see what happens...
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Best regards
-= shakeeb =- (= : =)
source : Google uncle (the internet)

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

Amazing English Language

The longest English word:

The question of determining the longest English word inevitably boils down to defining what is acceptable as a word, since prefixes/suffixes can be adjoined to words to make longer words and because medical/chemical terms can get arbitrarily long. Further, most contenders for the honor of being the longest word are likely to be very rare in actual usage - so rare, in fact that they could be considered nonce words. The most common candidates for the crown, in my opinion, are

antidisestablishmentarianism (28 letters),

floccinaucinihilipilification(29 letters) and

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis (45 letters).

The first is the only one of the three that was not specifically constructed for the purpose of being a very long word. It means opposition to the separation of church and state. The second, meaning the estimation of something as worthless, is the longest non-technical word in the OED. The latter, supposedly a lung disease, appears to be a semi-serious concoction.
Lexically interesting words. .

Longest word without a vowel:
symphysy.
Runners-up: nymphly, rhythms, gypsyfy, gypsyry.
Excluding 'y': crwths.

Longest word with at most 1 vowel:
glycyphyllin, psychorhythm.
Word with most vowels:
counterrevolutionaries.
Word with most consecutive vowels (5):
cooeeing, miaoued, miaouing, queueing. (Euouae, consisting of nothing but 6 vowels, is of doubtful legitimacy.)
Smallest word with all 5 vowels:
eulogia, miaoued, sequoia.

Longest word with only 3 distinct alphabets:
seeresses.

Longest word with only 4 distinct alphabets:
senselessness.

Longest word with no repeated letter:
dermatoglyphics.

Longest word with letters in alphabetical order:
aegilops.

Longest word with letters in reverse alphabetical order:
trollied.

Longest word that can be typed with the right hand alone
(on a qwerty keyboard): phyllophyllin.

Longest word that can be typed with the left hand alone
(on a qwerty keyboard): devertebrated.

Longest word that can be typed using the top row
(of a qwerty keyboard): rupturewort.
Runners-up: peppertree, pepperwort, perpetuity, proprietor, repertoire, tetterwort, typewriter.

Interesting words with the substring 'uu':
continuum, fatuus, menstruum, residiuum, vacuum.

Word with the maximum number of distinct alphabets (16):
blepharoconjunctivitis, formaldehydesulphoxylic, pneumoventriculography, pseudolamellibranchiate, superacknowledgment.

Word with most a's (6):
astragalocalcaneal, calcaneoastragalar, taramasalata.
Word with most e's (7):
electrotelethermometer.
Word with most i's (6):
impossibilification, indistinguishability, indivisibility, minimifidianism, pericardiomediastinitis.
Word with most o's (6):
choledochoduodenostomy, duodenocholedochotomy, monogonoporous, odontonosology, proctocolonoscopy, pseudomonocotyledonous, zoologicoarchaeologist.
Word with most u's (5):
untumultous.

Words with four consecutive letters of the alphabet appearing consecutively:
mnop: cremnophobia, gymnopaedic, gymnoplast, limnophile, somnopathy
(and a few others). rstu: overstudy, overstuff, understudy, afterstudy, overstudious, superstuff, understuff.

Words with four consecutive letters of the alphabet appearing consecutively in reverse order:
ponm: tamponment, weaponmaker.
Words with 3 consecutive s's:
bossship, headmistressship, patronessship.

source : Google uncle (the internet)

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

Matrimony bites and Girl profiles.

These are Girls profiles taken from shaadi.com
These are actual ads on a matrimony site, No alteration or modifications have been done.
Grammar and spelling errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart!
"Readers : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this mail...
I am Sorry If anybody is Hurt by this...
only words and sentences added in brackets( ) are added by me ...

- Hello To Viewers My Name is Sowmya , I am single i dont have male,If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my
home. I am not a good education but i working all field in bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart....
when ever u whant to meet pls visit my resident or
send u letter..
Thanks
yours Regards Sowmya

-i want very simple boy. from brahmin educated family from Orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
(Wut Homework?)

-I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a
first step of love. I am looking for my dreamboy who will love me more than i.
Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ........hold my hand forever !!!
(The dilwale dulhaniya effect)

-i am simple girl. I have lot of problemin my life because of my lucknow i am looking one boy he care me
and love me lot lot lot
(I don't know why but this is one of my favorites)

-i want a boy with no drinks if he wants he can wear jeans in house but while steping out of house he should give recpect to our cast
(by not wearing his jeans? Wat the hell...)

-HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING GIRL,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A BOY
,THEY ARE
1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.
2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION
3. THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY
TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
(all of us are loughing {laughing})

-whatever he may be but he should feel that he is going to be someone groom and he must think of the future life if he is toolike this he would be called the man of the lamp
(I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this girl wants)

-i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and I love the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate
ok
(I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is suffering from "Ok-syndrome"

-iam pranati my family histoy my two brother two sister and father & mother sister completely married
(somebody please explain in comments section how to get married 'completely' ?)

-my name is farhanbegum and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
(height of desperation!)

-iam kanandevi. i do owo businas..one sistar.he was marred.
(No comments)

-hello i am a good charactarised woman. i want to run my life happily. i divorced my first husband. his charactor is not good'.
i expect the good minded and clean habits boy who may be in the same caste or other caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..?? ?)

-Iam Sharmila my colour is black, but my heart is white. i like social service.
(Zebra..???)

hope u enjoyed reading these as much as i enjoyed in collecting these lol...

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

Please LOVE and Respect Ur Parents

Recently i came across this email sent by a friend of mine and i thought i should share it with all.

Father n Son:

At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by
dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons.
You thanked him by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old he drove you all day,from soccer to
football to one birthday party after another.

You thanked him by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked him by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked him by waiting until he left the house.

When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked him by telling him he had no taste.

When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked him by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked him by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car.
You thanked him by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, he was expecting an important call.
You thanked him by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked him by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus carried your bags.
You thanked him by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he cried
and told you how deep he loved you.
You thanked him by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of
him u thanked him by reading about the burden parents become
to their children.

And then, one day, he quietly died.

And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

Please LOVE and Respect Ur Parents.

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

8 stupid Questions n their hilarious Answers

Writter : -= Hasi =-
Message : 8 stupid Questions and their hilarious Answers (must read)
Note: if u r not smart enough or cant make imaginations or Dialogs of these situations, NO Need to read, u will nt understand wat it is... (~.~)
Just Put a Life in these situations...
-- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- --

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends.. .

Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?

Answer:-Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

------------ --------- --------- ------

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...

Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?

Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

------------ --------- --------- -------

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...

Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.

Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

------------ --------- --------- --------

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter

Stupid Question:- Is The "Paneer butter Masala" dish good??

Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

------------ --------- --------- --------

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...

Stupid Question:- Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.

Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself

------------ --------- --------- --------

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...

Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?

Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout... it's just the money.

------------ --------- --------- --------

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...

Stupid Question:- Sorry. Were you sleeping?

Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... You dumb witted moron.

------------ --------- --------- --------

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...

Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?

Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding....

-- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ---- --
Best regards
-= Hasi =- (^o^)
email at : cybergamer08@gmail.com

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....

A Boring Conversation with GF !!

Writter: -= Haseeb Ashai =-
_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_
A Boring Conversation !!!

Note: The Conversation in the brackets {} contains the words which the guy is speaking to himself !!!

She gives a missed call to him and He calls her back :
She: Hello!
He: {are yaar...Raat ke 10 bajte nahin ki iski 2-2 second waali missed calls shuru, pata nahi aaj kya bore karegi} Hi ...kya baat hai..?
She: kuch nahi...bas aise hi phone kiya..
.He: {Aise hee ??? Yeh kya Radio Station hai ki aise hee ...!! Aur Call kahan kiya ?... khali missed call to diya hai, roz ki tarah...} oh...ok ..kya kar rahi thi ??
She: abhi abhi dinner khatam kiya...tum kya kar rahe the?
He: {mai to lunch karke utha hoon na} Mera bhi abhi abhi dinner khatam hua.. ab....'Ladki Kyon Najaane Kyon' sun raha hu FM par....
She: nice song (And then she hums a line from the song 'Hum Tum')
He: {Yaaaaaaaaarrrrr kyun bola gaane ka naam .. Ab ye Madonna saare raag gaa degi yaheen} Hey!!!! Tum itna achcha gaati ho? mujhe pata hi nahi tha ..
She: *giggles*
He: {Ohhhho kya hansti hai .. aisa lag raha hai koi gaadi start kar raha hai} Hey ek aur baar gaao na pls!
She: Yehan sab so rahe hai... Agar main gaaongi to sab uth jaaenge
He: {Ekdum Correct...woh yehi samjhenge ki koi paagal, kisi baat par naraaz ho gayi hai ..} Come on! Please!
She: Hattt ...I don't sing that well
He: {Yeh to saari duniya ko pata hai... paka kyun rahi hai} It was really sweet. Please gaao na dear
She: Mujhe kuch ajeeb sa lagta hai jaan
He: {mujhe tujhse jyada ajeeb lagta hai, dekh phir bhi shaheed hone ko tayaar baitha hoon} Aisa kuch bhi nahi hai jaanu...gaao na
He: {mere ko doosra raasta nahi hai....is liye bola} Abhi tum gaaogi ya nahi ?
She: kyun pareshaan kar rahe ho?
He: Acchha ! Ok Nahi karta
She: I don't have that great a voice ... ye to aise hee gaa diya tha ... warna mai nahin gaati
He: {Fir aise hee ??? bada ehsaan karti agar nahin gaati kaan mai se khoon nikalne waala hai... saala gadha bhi sharma jaaye teri awaaz sunke} hmmmm..
She: Theek hai... jab itni zid kar rahe ho... sirf ek stanza gaaungi theek hai??
He: {Abbe teri !!! fas gayaaaaa ... shittttt aur kya kya jhelna padega malum nahi} Great!!!!
She: kaunsa gaana gaau ?
He: {Tum kuch bhi gaao... meri to aaj by default neend haraam hai} Hmmmm 'Mahiya' from Awarapan?
She: Nice song. But mujhe lyrics yaad nahi hai
He: {Thank God ... Text book chhodke tujhe aur kya pata hai bol ...} Dhoom Machale?
She: Nahi main wohi gaana gaaungi
He: {Aye tere nakhre ... mai to jaise mara jaa raha hoon teri awaaz sun ne ke liye Shakira koi bhi gaana gaa....mere kaan to pakne waale hai}
Cool (She clears her throat, hums a line and then)
She: Nahi jaan I am feeling very shy!
He: {Tu shuru kyun hoti hai ek bar shuru hokar khatam kyun nahin karti jaldi jaldi... ab kya Eden Gardens book karun, tab gayegi} Gaao na...pls gaao na....teri awaaz ki samundar me main doob jaana chahta hoon
She: dekho...ab tum mujhe naaraaz kar rahe ho
He: {Achchha ab tujhe manaane mai poore sheher ko phool leke bhejun kya} No no... Tum shy feel kar rahi ho na... is liye... Trying to make u comfortable
She: Hmmm...
He: {Ye makkhi ki tarah kya shuru ho gayi} Please gaao na darling...
She: Main kal gaaun?
He: {Haaaaaannnn. ..jaaan bachi... nikal leta hoon...abhi mauka hai} Theek hai jaisi tumhaari merzi
She: Hmmm...
He: Good night
She: Good night
She: Sweet Dreams Take care...
He: Sweets dreams to u too...{kaahe ke sweet dreams .. sone degi tab na ayenge dreams abhi 2 minute mein fir call karegi}
After a while She calls Him (sorry...that never happens, she gives only a missed call)
She: Hey so gaye the kya?
He: {Nahiii...current ka aavishkaar kar raha tha...}Nahi jaan
She: kya kar rahe ho?
He: {Raat ko kya gili danda khelna hai...} Match dekh raha tha
She: Theek hai tum match dekho
He: {phone rakhegi to dekhunga na... ya tu running commentary sunayegi} Hey it's ok... purana match hai
She: Did u feel bad I didn't sing?(Since it is a tricky question, He thinks for a while)
He: {Bad eh? Crazy girl... this was the luckiest day in my life, since you didn't sing} Bad toh main nahi keh raha jaanu. But I want you to be comfortable first.... tumhi ne bola ki main kal gaaungi.....So, me waiting{maine to socha tha ki aaj bach gaya... dhatttt tereki}
She sings 1 stanza from the song' Jiski aankhon me meri hi nami.....
'He: Wow. Too good!
She: jhoot....mujhe maloom hai ki meri awaaz itni achchi nahi hai
He: {Saamne aa jaa, fir bataata hoon... pagal kar diya... chalo shukr hai self realization hai ...} Nahi darling you really sing well
She: nahi..mujhe maloom hai tum bas aise hi keh rahe ho
He: {Very good.. aakhir tumne pata laga hi liya.....kyun bhagwaan kyun !! mere saath ye julm kyun} Cheee! Cheee! teri voice agar itni buri hoti to main kya ab tak na sun raha hota
She: Hmmmm...theek hai.. good night.. ab tum bhi so jaao
He: {Achcha mil gayi permission ... waise tera gaana sunne ke baad neend kahan aayegi ab ...} Good night!
She: Take care
He: You too
She: Hey....
He: {Arrre yaar.. aaj ye nahi chhodegi} kya hai sweety?
She: sach bataao honey..meri voice achchi hai ya nahi...
He: {Tu apni voice record karke sun kyon nahi leti ek baar !! dimaag ka dahi kar rakha hai .. lassi banaake peeja mere dimaag ki} sachchi... Of course.
She: sirf jhoot
He: {Iski toh... !! jab pata hai to mujhse kya singing sensation ka award legi !! phata dhol} Not at all. You sing very well
She: Hmmm.... tum keh rahe ho to theek hi hoga. Good night.
He: {shukr hai, ab to mera peecha chodegi} Good Night !!
_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_:_
Best regards
-= Hasi =- (^_-)
email at : cybergamer08@gmail.com

The views in the conversation are Haseeb's own views and it is not necessary to be true in case of True Love. Since i Respect Love and its devine beauty and power when it is True , when Love turns out to be one sided and a big joke it is like the above...

Any comments and suggestions are most welcomed at : http://shakeebashai.blogspot.com

you can email me at : shakeeb.ashai@gmail.com

VEARAN BONIE HUND HAEREN KAV....